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In a previous post, I discussed some of the Saturday morning Eroticon 2019 talks. Here, I will write about some of the talks I attended in the afternoon and on the Sunday. This post will be written in two parts as it is rather long. Click here to go to Part 2.
Sex-positive Parenting
After lunch on Saturday, I went to the talk on sex-positive parenting by Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noire. This topic interests me, as I am raising my young daughter. Hence, I wish to encourage her to explore her sexuality in a safe way, without judgement. But it is also important to establish boundaries, as Jasmine explained.
During the talk, a few key points stayed with me (the ones I remembered to scribble down!):
• Masturbation is natural. We can teach our children this, so that they too can enjoy it on their own or with future partners. After all, if you cannot enjoy pleasure through masturbation, how can you be expected to like sex with a partner?!
• Behaviours such as ‘pillow humping’ traditionally are looked upon with shame and a stigma that it is taboo. We can allow our children to explore in this way. So long as we set healthy boundaries; for example, washing their hands immediately after. And ensuring they show ‘common decency’ by staying in a private area to masturbate.
It’s also clear that we ought not to project our own fear of our children having sex into making an attack on them for masturbating. For instance, when I happen to catch my daughter masturbating in the future, I will have to bite my tongue to not say, “Now young lady, do not get any ideas about sleeping with boys!” Not only would this be stereotyping that she ‘should be’ (according to societal norms) heterosexual. Also, it will shame her for having a sexuality and sexual needs.
Other considerations to address with our children include establishing what consent is. We need to do this as early as possible. Children ought not to feel ‘obligated’ to give a relative a hug or a kiss goodbye if they do not feel comfortable. Again, this is a societal expectation.
We can talk to our children about their contact preferences and any areas of their body that may be a no-contact zone. Some children really dislike having their faces touched. Moreover, by putting the idea that certain contact is ‘ok’ and acceptable, we may make them question other types of contact.
For example, if my daughter lets someone touch her arm or shoulder, then by extension she may feel that it ‘should be’ ok for them to touch a more intimate area. This is how sexual predators often operate. They make the child question themselves and their decision to let the individual touch an innocuous area.
This was a very useful talk to attend as a parent. Thanks to Jasmine and King Noire for their insight!
Bringing Sex-positivity to Traditional Audiences.
This was the last session I attended on Saturday, presented by Franki Cookney. In her talk, Franki mentioned that empathy is our ‘super-power.’ When people don’t understand a concept or idea, they will often make silly jokes about it.
Polyamory, for instance, often gets bandied about like a bowl of car keys at a party. This is more of a swingers’ meet, but that is another topic entirely. The fact is, a lot of people do not understand that there are others who can have a loving relationship with more than one partner.
She went on to say that we can understand that other people may be ‘turned off’ by something, without shaming a behaviour. Through MRI imaging, a physical link has been established between identity, beliefs and our perception of ‘self.’
An attack on a strongly-held belief is an attack on one’s self.
Engaging with ‘our tribe’ does not stop us from being mindful of differing stances from others. We need to not let someone’s use of language prevent us from engaging with them. Perhaps they use words we find offensive because they simply don’t understand. Moreover, we may need to explain the background of what we are writing about in a contextual way. An audience does not automatically know what we are trying to say.
Thanks to Franki, for her dynamic presentation 🙂
Monetise your Pocket Rocket!
I attended this talk on Sunday morning, presented by Miguel, Diego, Katie and Gregor from Fetish.com.
It was an interesting talk, but I won’t mention too much detail here as I am currently evaluating the direction I take with my own blog. I am considering focusing more on memes and writing, rather than reviewing products.
Essentially, the advice from Miguel and co was to make your passion sustainable (note to self, Luv Bunny!!). Decide if you are going to blog as a hobby, part-time, full-time, or at a corporate / entrepreneur level. For me personally, I am pretty much at the hobby level.
For those of you who wish to earn from blogging, affiliate sales are a great place to start. Also, offering to advertise is a great option too. You can offer services such as training, consulting, writing. In any case, the take-home message was to diversify the ways you generate income and spread the risk. Also, to go on a full-time basis. You need to market your skills, by targeting appropriate clients, tracking your performance and proving yourself. There is no point in engaging a brand or business if they are not aligned with your blog’s goal.
There was a large chunk of the talk dedicated to ad networks and marketing. I do not understand a lot of this information with my frazzled brain, so I won’t necessarily try to explain it here. Basically, for adult content, Ero-advertising, Black Label Ads and Erology were some brands mentioned. Some brands may not be Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC). Nor may they always align with your values, so you need to consider who you work with carefully.
Lots of information in a packed talk from the Fetish.com crew!
If you want to find about the Anxious Writers’ Club, how to look at your blog with a critical eye, and how to build your blog traffic, read part 2 here!
Thank you for reading 🙂
Fascinating LB – I enjoyed this. Some content more relevant to me / my blog than others, but you never know what will spark an idea or a direction to go in. Thanks for ‘taking notes’ for me! xx